This mothering thing, it’s hard. Continue reading
I didn’t mean to go a whole week without writing, but somehow life just got away from me. And then yesterday was just a Day. You know the kind, where nothing gets done, I get grouchy, someone flushed her underwear down the toilet (not me) and the kids’ hunger strike protest went into day three. By the end of the day, I just wanted to go away, to be anywhere but here. And then Joe came home, and after some miscommunication where I knew I was clearly right and so he obviously had to be wrong, I find out that the poor guy was just trying to be nice (notice the updated header above!) and helpful to his crazy wife… which made me feel even worse. Smart man that he is, he took the kids out for a long walk so I could make dinner without leg-clingers, and the kids were finally happy with what I served so dinner went smoothly.
I know that part of my problem is letting little things dictate my attitude, and losing my cool when they don’t go as planned. Another big part is measuring a day’s success by my to-do list. It’s hard it feels as though I can’t ever get ahead, when everything I do just needs to get done again in a day or two. The same dishes keep needing to be washed, the same clothes pile up, the carpet is always needing to be vacuumed, and many of the things I (and other stay at home parents and homemakers) do is hard to measure. I don’t calculate how much time I spend playing with the kids, how many hugs they give me, or count the books that they bring me to read them as they curl up next to me on the couch. I don’t keep track of all the times that Grace draws Sophie’s requests on the magna doodle (Elmo, moon, and stars, please) and the minutes they happily spend playing together. Granted, those times are generally ended by screaming, but still.
I know it’s important for me to get my tasks done–the dishes don’t wash themselves, nobody else has been volunteering to clean the bathroom, and Grace has a tendency to use her clothes to wipe her mouth when she eats. But I also have a feeling that someday, in the next life, I won’t be questioned on how many days I finished my to-do list, but on how well I loved my family, even when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to.
It turns out that what I thought was Sophie’s allergies and teething was actually colds/slight fevers that have been making their way through the house. Joe and I got sick over the weekend. I’m pretty sure that it should be against the laws of nature that both adults in the house should definitely not be sick and miserable at the same time. At least Joe can take stronger meds than his pregnant wife to help him sleep at night. In the meantime, we’re seriously considering buying stock in Kleenex, since we’ve been going through them at an alarming rate lately. I’m crossing all my fingers and toes that we’re on the upswing now.
Joe is healing well, and is now cast and walking boot free! He still has to wear a wrist brace, now has physical therapy, and has an ankle brace that is just big enough to ensure that he can wear almost no shoe over it, which is the whole point. On the plus side, he can drive now. Hooray! Unfortunately, his car is currently dead and even if it wasn’t, he can’t drive it. His car is a stick shift, which I have yet to learn (yes, I know. Joe has tried to teach me, even though I’m a poor student who takes out frustration on him) and because of his injuries, he really shouldn’t drive it anyway. It seems that after my pregnancy sickness, his lingering injuries, everyone’s summer viruses, and crazy work/social calendar, we really can’t win.
Grace went to our church’s version of Vacation Bible School (Bible Story Timeout, as I’ve been corrected by her a zillion times) and loved it. I won’t say I was sorry to have a 2 hour break from her every day (especially since she was a hellion as soon as I picked her up) and I know she had a blast. It makes me excited for her to start preschool next month–not for the break from her, but because I know she will love it. Anyway, they sent a CD home with her at the end of the week with some catchy little biblically-based songs (“Joseph’s brothers did something wrong, oh no, oh no!”) and she wants to listen to it all the time. I fall asleep at night to these songs in my head.
She took a break from watching the Kentucky Derby to sing along. She’s a bit bashful about it, and from what I’ve gathered, there are also little motions that go with the songs, but I’ve only caught her at them a few times.
I was starting to plan ahead for a family trip we’re going on soon, and am realizing that I have nothing to wear. Not in the ‘I just don’t feel like wearing any of these clothes because I’m fickle like that’ but in an awkward pregnancy phase of my regular clothes not fitting and maternity clothes still being a bit big. I’ve been living in sweats lately (thank you, sickness) so I’d kind of forgotten about the fact that it mostly just looks like I’ve given up.
The girls have a new favorite pastime, called Sneaking Into the Bathroom and Throwing All of the Q-Tips Everywhere with Glee. It is not my favorite game. Their other new fad is freaking out when they see a fly, which fails to get the sympathy they’re usually going for. Soph has been vacillating between wanting to play with “Dace” and getting angry if Grace comes within a three-foot radius of her. It generally makes for lots of screaming, either way.
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